I Am Not Qualified To Administer First Aid

Last updated: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 11:01:00 GMT

Don't listen to a thing I say.

In order to avoid any future litigation, I should point out that the paramedics who attended the scene of my latest mutilation frowned upon my use of a rubber band as a tourniquet, even after I explained that a doctor had used the exact same technique on me three weeks earlier. First Aid seems to be one of those things that varies from school to school, student to student, where one man's best practice is another man's quackery. Given that some people have to be instructed not to use a tourniquet for a head wound, I thought it best that I disclaim appropriately.

Although it would probably be best if you avoided serious injury to the extremeties altogether.