UPS vs TNT vs DHL

Last updated: Wed, 07 Sep 2005 12:01:00 GMT

I am a couriering virgin.

I've never couriered anything before.

Oh, I've sent stuff by courier; hardware, software, documents, but always contract account stuff, for work. Mostly someone just emails me a returns label and tells me when the courier will be here.

So, I find myself needing to get some paperwork down to London toot sweet, and said paperwork is valuable and confidential, including passports and bank details. Also, I've been instructed to send by courier. This is my New Zealand visa application I'm sending.

First up are UPS. They take two minutes to get me through to a human, two minutes to take my details, then tell me it's going to cost me £58 plus VAT and it'll be there for Monday morning. At 1530, I've apparently no chance of getting a pickup today. I explain that the Royal Mail could get it there for Monday morning for a tenth of the price and move on.

TNT have a nifty ringback service. Fill in a web form with your contact details and they'll call you back soon as. Nice. Sadly, I sat around for five minutes, (I timed it,) and got no call back. No sale.

DHL up next. £52 including VAT, pickup before close of business, delivery before close of business tomorrow. Done deal. I hung up on DHL and found a message waiting for me from TNT. So they did get back, as promised, they just missed out by a couple of minutes.

It's only as I type this that I realise that, in terms of getting the job done, close of business Friday is no better than Monday morning. And I might as well just pop along to the Post Office and get them to send it First Class Registered. I have a couple of weeks before the closing date, so it's not like I really need the documents there in under 24 hours. Even the guy from DHL, who turned up two minutes ago, said to me "you're paying a lot of money to deliver something that the postie could do just as good a job on."

True, the NZIS seem to be mighty anal about a lot of this. It's probably for good reason, but the literature they send you is full of dire warnings about sending your application and supporting evidence to them in the prescribed order. If it's not in the right order, woe betide you! And they also say that you should courier the documents to them. So that's what I've done. It'd make no appreciable difference if it took a day longer and a postman asked for someone's signature rather than a sweaty guy in a red polo shirt.

If I tried, I could persuade myself that I've just forked out £52 because I don't want no trouble from the NZIS. But, no, what really matters is getting this package out of my hands as soon as possible. That's what I'm paying for. Peace of mind. I want the whole matter taken out of my hands. I want to feel like I've done everything I possibly can, that I've committed.

I do. I have. It's gone.

I've got to tell you, I'm pretty excited.